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lottery

The Daily Bonnet

Vaccine “Lottery” Rebranded as Vaccine “Quilt Raffle” for Pious Southern Manitobans

June 9, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Not wanting to participate in anything resembling a “lottery”,  Mennonites of the Winker area have agreed to get the vaccine so long as their names are thrown into the hat for the quilt […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Spends All Afternoon Stuck in Line Behind Some Guy Buying Lotto Tickets

August 17, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Mrs. Froese decided to throw on her mask, hop in her Buick, and stop by at her neighbourhood convenience store for a few things. However, little did she know that her trip to […]

Unger Suspicion

Lotto 6/49 Rewards Local Man with a Truck Load of Toilet Paper

March 14, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It was the biggest payout in Lotto 6/49 history last night as local man Mr. Thiessen won an entire truck load of toilet paper. “When I saw they were giving out not one, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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