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election

Unger the Influence

Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy

April 18, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote […]

Unger the Influence

Politicians Eager to Dupe Mennonites into Thinking they Support Mennonite Values

April 7, 2025 Andrew

WAUTDESCHISSJAT, SK Politicians across Canada are eagerly courting the Mennonite vote by wording things in such a way that sounds kind of Mennonite when they say it. “I’m not actually changing my policies at all, […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Farmer Hires Pierre Poilievre to Count His Chickens Before they’re Hatched

April 2, 2025 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Area poultry producer Garth Broesky has reached out to Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre to come on down to Grunthal and help him count all his chickens before they’re hatched. “He was getting so […]

Unger the Influence

Progressives Find Themselves in Awkward Position of Having to Say Nice Things About a Banker

March 31, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It came out of nowhere, but left-leaning liberals and progressives across Canada are suddenly huge fans of bankers. Banker-mania is sweeping the nation, some even going so far as sporting Mark Carney-inspired haircuts. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Really Looking Forward to Violating One of the Core Tenets of their Faith By Voting in Upcoming Election

March 23, 2025 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Thousands of Canadian Mennonites are really looking forward to ridding themselves of one of the foundational doctrines of their faith by voting in the upcoming federal election. “I guess it’s that time again,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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