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Unger Suspicion

Ryan Gosling Nabs ‘Best Director’ Nomination for Playing Ken in ‘Barbie’

January 24, 2024 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The Oscar nominations are out and leading the way this year was the runaway smash hit ‘Barbie’ which, apparently, was written, produced, and directed by Ryan Gosling. “As far as we can tell, […]

The Daily Bonnet

A List of Every Mannanite Film Ever Nominated for Bast Picture

January 24, 2023 Andrew

BY: JAKOB PLATT, FALM AXPERT Oba, so the only movies I aver saw were at the Game and Fish Days there in Schteinback or maybe at the John Deere dealer. This makes me the most […]

Unger Suspicion

Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled

February 28, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA It’ll be a near empty theatre tonight as the half dozen or so Hollywood stars who didn’t get themselves cancelled this year gather to waltz down a socially distanced red carpet and pat […]

Unger Suspicion

Hollywood Actor Presented with Annual “Even More Self-Righteous than a Mennonite” Award

February 11, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The annual Hollywood Self-Righteousness Awards were handed out on Sunday, with the top designation ‘Even More Self-Righteous than a Mennonite’ going to actor Joaquin Phoenix. “I’d like to thank the Academy of Unwarranted […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Wins Lifetime Achievement Oscar

February 27, 2017 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Mennonite woman Deborah Kehler of Bergfeld, Manitoba was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars last night for “more than 70 years of putting a smile on her face and pretending that everything is just […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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