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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Daily Bonnet Book Mysteriously Discovered in Fiction Section

January 24, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Annie Loewen of Saskatoon was eager to spend her Christmas money at her local McNally Robinson Booksellers this weekend, but had real trouble finding that Daily Bonnet book anywhere. “I looked all over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women Concerned Daughter Might Be In Some Sort of Cult

January 22, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After seeing a number of “concerning social media postings” in the past few days, Mrs. Dierdre Janzen, 71, of Fresno has consulted with the elder board and determined that her daughter Audrey is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand the Return of Prime Minister Stephen Harder

January 15, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Mennonites gathered in various angry Facebook groups over the weekend to give thumbs up to a wide variety of memes calling for the replacement of Prime Minister Trudeau with Stephen Harder. “Oba, things […]

The Daily Bonnet

Province Totally Gives Up on Oma Krahn Fight

January 13, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MENNOTOBA After getting their behinds whooped by a kindly Mennonite grandmother for the past couple weeks, the provincial government has decided that this Oma Krahn is just too much to handle and will no […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Eligible Mennonite Women Compete to See Has to Marry Lifelong Bachelor Abe

January 12, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Dozens of single Mennonite women in their fifties across the Pembina Valley are competing to see who gets stuck marrying the town’s remaining bachelor 62-year-old retired hog farmer Abe. “Well, he’s the only […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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