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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Faith Healer Offers Monthly Payment Plan

January 10, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A travelling miracle worker who claims to be able to heal back aches and migranes with just the power of his touch and a little faith, is offering “the fine folks of Calgary […]

Unger Conviction

Fiery Pastor Finds Three Extra Syllables in the Name Jesus

January 2, 2025 Andrew

LETHBRIDGE, AB Rev. Jeremy Goerzen of Lethbridge is making waves throughout southern Alberta after discovering three missing syllables in the name Jesus, which he pronounces each Sunday, sweating roll down his face and Bible pounding […]

Unger Conviction

Magnus Carlsen Booted Out of Church for Wearing Jeans

December 30, 2024 Andrew

WATERTOWN, NY Norwegian chess superstar Magnus Carlsen had decided to try his hand at a Dutch Blitz tournament up in Watertown, New York this week, when he realized his attire was not suitable for the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Sings So Beautifully Out Her Nose

December 27, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Brandt had the congregation in silent awe this week with her stirring rendition on “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” which she managed to sing completely through her nose without ever opening her […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow

December 8, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With snow beginning to accumulate on Saturday evening, Mennonites across southern Alberta were hoping for a snow day on Sunday morning. “Oh would you look at that coming down,” said Dave Krahn of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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