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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Forced to Watch ‘Hymn Sing’ Before He Can Watch ‘Disney’

September 4, 2025 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Local 8-year-old Jeremy Goerzen threw the biggest temper tantrum in Tofield, Alberta history this weekend after his parents forced him to watch a complete episode of Hymn Sing prior to the Wonderful World […]

Unger Conviction

Canada to Increase Peace and Pacifism Budget to 5% of GDP

August 31, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After pressure from the country’s Mennonite population, the government of Canada has decided to reallocate its entire military budget into efforts to promote peace and pacifism. “Our goal is to spend 5% of […]

Unger Conviction

Dual Headstone Eagerly Awaits Death of Spouse

August 23, 2025 Andrew

KORN, OK When Jake Penner passed away in 2008, his wife Martha promptly had her own name added to the headstone in anticipation of her eventual demise. “But it’s been 17 years and I’m still […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Streets Clogged at 9:30 AM on a Sunday

August 1, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There was a massive traffic jam on Steinbach streets this Sunday morning around 9:30 AM. Visitors, the Wiebes from Swift Current, have lodged a complaint about the level of traffic. “Oba, well what […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Pastors Make Statement With ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ T-Shirts

July 25, 2025 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Fed up with meagre salaries that barely pay the rent, Mennonite pastors across the nation have been sporting snazzy new T-shirts as a form of protest. “It’s bad enough he’s wearing such casual […]

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