WASHINGTON, DC On the verge of breaking the all-time goal-scoring record in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, accidentally passed the puck last night. “Ugh, an assist,” said Ovechkin. “What the hell am […]
OTTAWA, ON It came out of nowhere, but left-leaning liberals and progressives across Canada are suddenly huge fans of bankers. Banker-mania is sweeping the nation, some even going so far as sporting Mark Carney-inspired haircuts. […]
TORONTO, ON Weeks after threatening to shut off the power to several US states, it appears that Ontario Premier Doug Ford has accidentally shut off the power to his own province. “Yeah, ooops, I don’t […]
SCHRATJLIJCH, TX The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is inviting everyone to stay after church this Sunday for a delicious potluck, including roast beef, mashed potatoes, and a delectable array of Jell-o salads and measles. “You’re not […]
ALTONA, MB Area woman Aganetha Barkman rushed home from the quilting bee this afternoon after hearing on the radio that stocks were crashing. “Not on my watch!” proclaimed Barkman, hopping into her CRV. “I remember […]
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