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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Date Night at Peavey Mart

April 20, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With the kids at Oma and Opa’s house for the evening, Allan and Karen Martens were finally able to get some alone time at their local Peavey Mart. “Oh, Allan, you know what […]

Unger & Thirst

Thirst Trap? Oma Lures Opa with Fresh Homemade Iced Tea

April 19, 2024 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Oma Wiebe, 71, has been hearing a lot about “thirst traps” from her grandchildren and figured it was finally time to post one of her own. “I know my Abe is always […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aritzia Introduces New Line of Long Denim Skirts for Women Wanting to Look Like They’re in Some Weird Religious Sect

April 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were lines outside Aritzia at Polo Park this week as the store launched its new line of long denim dresses and other products inspired by the plain dress sects of southern Manitoba. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tupperware Rep Finds Lucrative New Side Hustle

April 17, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local Tupperware rep Anne Barkman has seen such an uptick in demand as of late that the 30-year-old mother-of-6 has decided to expand her line of products. “I was walking through the MCC […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Concerned About Catching ‘Indiana Fever’

April 16, 2024 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Mennonites across Indiana this week are concerned about the spread of something called the Indiana Fever. “That’s all I see on the news,” said Mrs. Bauman. “Indiana Fever this and Indiana Fever that. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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