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Month: August 2026

Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to bring their eclipse glasses along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more total […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK It’s taken him more than four decades, but local music fan Steve Goosen has finally re-purchased all the albums he tossed on the bonfire at that fateful youth retreat back in 1979. […]

Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026 Andrew

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A recent rash of copper wire thefts has left a huge shortage in the community of Winkler, which has thankfully been filled by a dedicated team of Mennonite volunteers. “We’ve been stretching pennies […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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