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Month: April 2025

Unger Conviction

Lukewarm Christian Has Only One Conservative Sign in His Yard

April 25, 2025 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Rumours are swirling this week after area man Dave Dueck demonstrated an insufficient level of enthusiasm for the Conservative Party of Canada. “Everyone else has Ted Falk signs popping up like weeds,” said […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Really Looking Forward to Getting to Bed Early and Finding Out the Jets Score in the Morning

April 24, 2025 Andrew

ARNAUD, MB Die hard Jets fan Darren Giesbrecht, 50, is so pumped for the game tonight that he plans to wake up early tomorrow morning to find out the score. “I don’t want to miss […]

Unger & Thirst

iPhone Severely Damaged After Spending Afternoon in Pocket Full of Zoat

April 23, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Garth Siemens couldn’t figure out what happened to his iPhone screen this afternoon. “I was just sitting there watching the first church softball game of the season,” said Siemens. “And the […]

Unger the Influence

Left-leaning Voters Proudly Unite Around Right Wing Candidate

April 22, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After decades of division, it seems that someone has finally found a way to unite the left-leaning vote in Canada – a Goldman Sachs banker vowing to move the Liberal Party more to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wakes Up Just In Time for Next Year’s Sunrise Service

April 21, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Kyle Berg, 42, decided he’d set his alarm and get up a year early so he doesn’t miss next year’s sunrise service. “Sleeping in is always a risk for me,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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