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Unger the Influence

White House Ends Trade Talks with Canada Over Alex P. Keaton Commercial

October 24, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House is fuming this week after the government of Ontario used the image of beloved Family Ties character Alex P. Keaton to promote an anti-tariff message. “Tariffs are a longstanding American […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Allowed to Stay Up Late Enough to Watch M*A*S*H*

September 27, 2025 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area man Sam Ens, 43, has just been informed by his parents that he has finally reached the age where he can stay up late and watch M*A*S*H* with them. “It’s our birthday […]

The Daily Bonnet

Contestants Stumped as 2 Mennonite Mayors Appear in Jeopardy! Clue

July 17, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A Jeopardy! clue this past week has made two Mennonite mayors world famous. Abbotsford mayor Ross Siemens and Winkler mayor Henry Siemens were mentioned in the clue, which had contestants stumped. “I couldn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Marge Simpson to be Buried in Rural Saskatchewan

June 27, 2025 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Beloved blue-haired mother-of-three Marge Simpson will be buried this week in a family plot near Herbert, Saskatchewan. “We ask that the public is respectful at this time of mourning for the Simpson family,” […]

Unger Games

All 82 Jets Games to be Featured on 82 Different Channels Next Season

December 31, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting next year, each regular season game of the Winnipeg Jets will be featured on its own channel or streaming service. “Gone are the days when it was all on TSN Jets,” says […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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