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low german

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Gives Fred Penner Plautdietsch Word

January 15, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling

December 17, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It’s the biggest scandal to hit the Carney government yet – spelling. In this case, Prime Minister Mark Carney sent out several memos in which he spelled everything in Plautdietsch. “And the worst […]

Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre Scambling to Learn Plautdietsch to Serve His New Riding

August 22, 2025 Andrew

STETTLER, AB Conservative leader and new Battle River-Crowfoot MP Pierre Poilievre has been taking Plautdietsch lessons in the small Mennonite town of Stettler, Alberta this week. This after several constituents greeted him with, “kjenn jie […]

Unger the Influence

Trump Praises Mennonite Man’s “Good Plautdietsch”

July 12, 2025 Andrew

CAMPO 69, MEXICO After a trip to Chihuahua this past week to negotiate a trade deal for Takis and Peter Wall’s delicious disco, US President Donald Trump praised local man Guillermo Kehler for his “good […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Immersion School Opens This Fall

September 20, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There was a time when Mennonite children had their mouths washed out with soap anytime they uttered a hearty “waut es met die?” on the schoolyard. Things have changed, however, and now […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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