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low german

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area child Dietrich Bergmann was suspended for eight days for uttering the phrase “Waut de schissjat” during a rousing circle game at recess this afternoon. “We have to teach these youngsters a lesson,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Sick and tired to accidentally buying puffed wheat when what they wanted was Froot Loops, Mennonites in Canada are demanding that Low German be added to cereal boxes across the country. “Plus, it’ll […]

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Gives Fred Penner Plautdietsch Word

January 15, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling

December 17, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It’s the biggest scandal to hit the Carney government yet – spelling. In this case, Prime Minister Mark Carney sent out several memos in which he spelled everything in Plautdietsch. “And the worst […]

Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre Scambling to Learn Plautdietsch to Serve His New Riding

August 22, 2025 Andrew

STETTLER, AB Conservative leader and new Battle River-Crowfoot MP Pierre Poilievre has been taking Plautdietsch lessons in the small Mennonite town of Stettler, Alberta this week. This after several constituents greeted him with, “kjenn jie […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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