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The Daily Bonnet

Historians Baffled: “Were Mennonites Dancing in Danzig?”

October 1, 2019 Andrew

GDANSK, POLAND Between their origins in the Netherlands and their sojourn in Russia, a sizeable chunk of the Mennonite population spent two centuries in Prussia. And while Mennonite historians have written a lot on the […]

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Hoping to Become Canada’s First Schekjbenjel Prime Minister

September 30, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK The 2019 Canadian federal election is a profoundly historic one. Just this weekend, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer revealed that, if elected in October, he would become Canada’s very first schekjbenjel Prime Minister. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Funerals Just for All the Free Food

September 29, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Doerksen has a busy funeral schedule this week attending all the funerals of people with whom she had only marginal acquaintance. “It’s a good place to stock up on cheese curds and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Couple Excited for New ‘Downtown Abby’ Movie

September 28, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Fast family of Abbotsford was super pumped about the new movie set in their very own community and were first in line to see Downtown Abby this weekend. “I’ve never seen downtown Abbotsford look […]

Unger Suspicion

“Greta’s Been Coached,” Says Politician Who Doesn’t Even Write His Own Speeches

September 28, 2019 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Local politician and die-hard anti-Greta activist Willie Ford took to Twitter this week to discount everything Thunberg has ever said on the basis that she may have rehearsed once or twice before making […]

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