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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Gets Finger Trapped in Rolled-Up Slice of Faspa Ham

September 2, 2024 Andrew

FRIEDENSFELD, MB The annual Heppner gathering in Friedensfeld this week required emergency intervention after Aunt Tina got her finger caught in a rolled-up ham slice. “I’ve been warning people about those ham slices for decades,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year

September 1, 2024 Andrew

MOOSE CURRENT, SK It didn’t take until the end of the first Intro to New Testament class for Moose Current Bible College to record its first nasty breakup of the year.  “Not sure why we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Theology Prof Accidentally Lectures Physics Class

August 31, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Pleased to see a full lecture hall full of students ready for his talk on the consubstantial nature of the trinity, Dr. Warkentin was a full 40 minutes into the class before Physics […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Shoplifting Rhubarb

August 30, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Maryanne Voth was so desperate to make platz this weekend that she found herself with a temptation she just couldn’t resist: rhubarb. “Usually Anges Froese provides me with all the rhubarb […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Who Lived Near a Mennonite Town for a Couple Years in the 80s Now Internet’s Top Expert on Mennonites

August 29, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, ON Area man Steve from London, Ontario has taken it upon himself to spout off his knowledge about Mennonites every chance he gets. “Any post about Mennonites and I’m there commenting,” said Steve. “After […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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