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Month: December 2025

Unger & Thirst

Mrs. Friesen Rushes Inside to Avoid Freezing Her Buns

December 4, 2025 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Mrs. Helena Friesen had a leftover plate of raisin buns from the funeral this afternoon, which required her to hightail it to her Honda CRV lest she freeze her buns off. “Jauma, it’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Finally Takes Down Last Year’s Christmas Cards Just as This Year’s Start to Arrive

December 2, 2025 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Mrs. Erin Janzen of Mountain Lake has finally begun to take down last year’s Christmas cards just as soon as the first batch of new ones have arrived. “It’s a painful decision, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down

December 1, 2025 Andrew

ST. CATHERINES, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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