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Month: October 2024

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Drives All the Way to Grand Forks for Chick-fil-A … On a Sunday

October 20, 2024 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND The Broesky family of Mitchell, Manitoba loaded up the minivan this morning for what they hoped would be a lovely afternoon outing in Grand Forks. Unfortunately for the Broeskys, they had to […]

Unger Conviction

Divine Intervention? Really Long Train Prevents Mennonite Couple from Entering the City

October 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The really freakin’ long train on Marion Street last night was seen as a sign of divine intervention by the Ungers of Blumenort. “Ugh, I guess we’re not supposed to go to that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years

October 17, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach, Manitoba was settled by 18 righteous and pure Mennonite families some 150 years ago, and after all this time the community has managed to remain completely sinless. “We made it. We finally […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg to Relocate Trains to Keep Out Worldly Influences

October 16, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Mennonites of southern Manitoba had it all figured out 150 years ago it seems. The City of Winnipeg is now considering the possibility of moving the rail yards out of the city. […]

Unger Suspicion

Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City

October 15, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY One of the nation’s top perfumers has just released a new scent, aptly called New York City, which is believed to be the first perfume to emulate the unmistakable musk of the […]

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  • Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started
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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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