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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Pipeline to Supply Calgary With Toronto Water

July 17, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON More than $12 billion will be spent to repurpose an old oil pipeline to send excess water from flooded Toronto all the way out to Calgary where they need it. “It’s about time […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Woman to Spend Entire Summer Posting Pictures of Her Feet

July 14, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB In an effort to show that she is truly relaxed and enjoying the season, area woman Ruth Wiens, 47, is planning to post pictures of her feet and/or legs every evening for the […]

Unger Conviction

Biden Sends Thoughts and Prayers to “Former President Ronald Reagan”

July 13, 2024 Andrew

BUTLER, PA After being informed on the situation at the rally in Pennsylvania, President Joe Biden took to the stage to express his sympathy for “former President Ronald Reagan.” “I’ve been briefed on the situation,” […]

Unger Games

Bombers Fan Really Hoping for that Stunt Dog Halftime Show

July 12, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Neil Braun, 46, is really hoping he can get finally get some entertainment from the Bombers game this week and, thus, is anticipating “those cute dogs that run around the obstacle […]

The Daily Bonnet

Germans Excited for ‘Taylor Schnell’ Concert

July 11, 2024 Andrew

HAMBURG, GERMANY Local music fans are lining up outside the Volksparkstadion in Hamburg this afternoon to witness pop star Taylor Schnell. “Schnell! Schnell! Get on the train,” yelled train attendant Olga Kaiserbun. “All aboard for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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