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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

New Trade Deal Has Torontonians Scrambling to Find Manitoba on a Map

May 15, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few deal to lift interprovincial trade barriers between Ontario and Manitoba had millions of Torontonians scrambling for their glove compartments to see if they’ve got that old road atlas in there somewhere. […]

Unger Games

Jets Fan Relieved He Finally Has His Evenings Free to Get Some Yardwork Done

May 14, 2025 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB The Winnipeg Jets’ exciting, but brief, playoff run this year has been a huge setback for the Interlake’s biggest Jets fan Art Berg, 63, who’s been holed up inside every evening neglecting his […]

Unger Games

Baseball Commissioner Reinstates Shoeless Joe Just to Ruin ‘Field of Dreams’ for Everybody

May 13, 2025 Andrew

COOPERSTOWN, NY In a press conference held his afternoon in an Iowa cornfield, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced he had lifted the ban on several players including Shoeless Joe Jackson, all in a desperate attempt […]

Unger Games

Dallas Stars Sign Lionel Messi Now that NHL Allows Kicking

May 12, 2025 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Blessed with Pleasant Aroma of Manure Just in Time for Mother’s Day

May 11, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mothers across the City of Steinbach and the RM of Hanover are delighted to have their special day accompanied by the intense aroma of manure. “And a faint hint of feed mill to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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