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Mennonite Politician Pushes for $0.15 Minimum Wage

TORONTO, ON

Local Mennonite MPP Allan Schultz is calling for the Ontario government to set the minimum wage at 15 cents an hour, a rate he claims is a lot more than he “got for catching chickens back in the day.”

“What the people need is a real living wage,” explained Schultz. “One dime and a nickel should be more than adequate to meet the needs of hard-working Ontarians of the 21st century.”

Schultz decided on the rate, which he believes will be a significant raise for most Ontario Mennonites, after considerable deliberation and reflection on his time as a boy back on the farm.

“I got up at 4, milked the cows, schlepped some manure for an hour or two, then walked ten miles to school,” said Schultz. “When I came home it was another five hours of chores…and for all this I didn’t get a cent.”

Schultz also claims that the new $0.15 minimum wage would go a long way at the MCC store.

“In just half a days wages, you could easily buy yourself a mixed-match tea cup and saucer set or maybe even a nice gravy boat with just a hairline crack in it,” said Schultz. “I’m calling on Premier Wynne to enact this legislation immediately. The livelihood of many Ontario Mennonite families depend on it.”

Schultz’s plan faced immediate criticism from a few voters in his region who lambasted the MPP as a “bleeding-heart nanny state socialist” for suggesting such an extravagant minimum wage.

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