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Mennonite Woman Spends Five Hours Selecting Watermelon

MORDEN, MB

Mrs. Fehr, 63, had to make sure she got just the right watermelon for her faspa this Sunday and so she spent more than five hours knocking, tapping, poking and shaking various melons at the local grocery store.

“There’s no sure fire of way of making certain you’re getting a good one,” said Mrs. Fehr, holding a watermelon to her left ear. “It’s a real gamble these watermelons.”

Mrs. Fehr says she always looks for a yellow spot on the bottom and gives each melon a good thump on the side.

“It should be a C#. Anything else just ain’t right,” said Mrs. Fehr, squeezing a melon between her knees to test its resistance. “Oh, and the white lines should be equidistant. Has anyone got a measuring tape with you?”

Mrs. Fehr says she’s been burned by under-ripe or over-ripe or “just not tasty” watermelons in the past and wasn’t going to risk it this time.

“I’ve been here since the store opened and I’m going to analyze each and every one of these watermelons to make darn sure I’m getting a good one!” said Mrs. Fehr, now pressing an innocent watermelon to her flaring nostrils. “The sniff test is always essential.”

According to local faspa-goers Mrs. Fehr spends so much time on the watermelons to compensate for her substandard roll kuchen.

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