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Local Man Washes Hands to the Entire ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ Album

ABBOTSFORD, BC

Burned out rocker Abe Dueck, 61, of Abbotsford has decided to wash his hands eight or nine times a day to all 42 minutes of Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon’.

“Breathe, breathe into the air, don’t be afraid to care,” sang Abe Dueck about four minutes into his hand washing, and was still washing when he reached the end of side one and had to flip the record.

Dueck reportedly found the suggested hand-washing songs of ‘Stayin’ Alive’ or ‘ABC 123’ not to his taste.

“Plus, they’re not nearly long enough,” said Dueck. “I considered washing my hands to Don McLean’s ‘American Pie’ but nine minutes doesn’t cut it for me!”

Next week, Dueck is planning to wash his hands through the entirety of ‘Led Zeppelin IV’.

“Or if things get really bad, I’m going to haul out the ‘White Album,'” said Dueck, still washing his hands throughout the interview. “My wife is washing her hands to ABBA. The kids are doing Bieber or that Billie Eilish fellow, but, let me tell you, I’m going to have the cleanest hands of them all!”

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