WASHINGTON, DC
Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool.
“I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when I saw that substance floating past me, I made a dash out of there pronto.”
It turned out to be nothing but an Oh Henry chocolate bar, or perhaps maybe even a Coffee Crisp, which had authorities believing the vandals to be Canadian.
“All we know for sure is that someone tossed it in there,” said Kehler. “When Officer Peters fished it out with a net, he discovered it was nothing to worry about. And delicious, too.”
It’s not yet known if the Caddyshacking of the Reflecting Pool will have any long term effect.
“For now, the Reflecting Pool strictly off limits for swimming,” said Kehler. “We’re also removing all vending machines within 200 yards.”