Let’s face it. Gone are the days when a paper bag filled with peanuts is sufficient to satisfy the demands of a Mennonite child. These days all the city Mennos prefer socks filled with various items from the thrift store or maybe even the dollar store if you’re a particularly well-off Menno. Here are a few ideas, some of which you might even have to buy at a regular store with the Englishers.
- Ronnie’s zoat – Make sure to empty the zoat right into the stocking. A little red and green sock lint never killed anybody. I think.
- Crokinole kjnipsers – You’re going to be losing a few over the holidays anyway, so you might as well have some extra on hand. Just make sure they’re the same diameter as your original pieces or someone’s going to have an unfair advantage.
- Expired coupons – You’ve probably got dozens of these in a drawer in the kitchen. This will be a good opportunity to teach your kids how to fight for their constitutional right to use an expired coupon.
- Christmas oranges – Okay, yes, of course, this is nothing new. We all got Christmas oranges in our tute growing up. But I’m thinking more along the lines of filling the whole thing with Christmas oranges. Kids these day desperately need their vitamin C.
- Gospel leaflets – If you’ve still got some tracts leftover from Halloween, you can always use them as a stocking stuffer. As long as they’re the Christian Archie comics, they should leave everyone satisfied with the gift.
- Yerba mate – The best thing about filling a stocking with yerba tea is that all you need to do is pour in a little hot water and you’re good to go. Christmas just isn’t the same without a nice hot yerba tea in one of Dad’s old socks.
- Horsehoes – Let the kids decide whether to shoe a horse or toss a ringer. It’s a versatile gift.
- The Best of the Bonnet or Once Removed by Andrew Unger- These books don’t have any illustrations, so your youngest children will likely reject them pretty quick, leaving you the chance to snatch them up for yourself. Bonus!
- Chaps and dip – You can go a few ways with this. Either homemade onion dip with Old Dutch chaps or, in a more creative interpretation of the theme, you can dump a bag of La Cocina tortilla chaps complete with salsa. Mmmm hmmm!
- More socks – What better place to get a pair of socks than inside another pair of socks? Kind of like how Abe wears six layers of long-johns when he’s out shovelling the driveway.