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Mennonite Woman’s Sour Cream Container Shockingly Contains Sour Cream

SASKATOON, SK

Mrs. Nettie Rogalsky of Saskatoon shocked fellow residents at Menno Dreams Retirement Home this week after it was revealed that all the sour cream containers in her freezer contained, well, sour cream.

“I’ve never seen a Fridgidaire so full of actual sour cream,” said freezer investigator Mrs. Diane Driedger. “But there it was, clearly labeled, – ‘Sour cream, really!'”

As it turns out, all the containers in Mrs. Rogalsky’s freezer contained exactly what was stated on the label.

“Which is why I had to put that label on there with masking tape,” said Mrs. Rogalsky. “Otherwise, who knows what could be in there. Ammonia cookies in the ice cream container? Chicken stock in the sour cream container? Scrabble pieces in the margarine container? I’ve seen it all.”

The contents of Mrs. Rogalsky’s freezer were so inspirational that the North Saskatoon MB Church has just passed a new initiative requiring “transparency in plastic container labelling.”

“If it’s really sour cream in there, you better be following Mrs. Rogalsky’s example and labelling it ‘sour cream,”” said North Saskatoon MB Foods Committee Chair Audrey Neufeld. “The public deserves to know what’s really in their plastic containers.”

Starting this spring, all plastic containers must be properly labelled. Violators of the new rule will be forced heat up whatever’s in there and eat it.

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