SEMINOLE, TX
Area woman Alexis Siemens, 33, has gone into hiding this weekend after she heard Trump was trying to take control of the nation’s essential oil supply.
“No more Bible studies/essential oil sales parties for a while,” said Siemens from her hiding spot in the quilting room at the local Mennonite church. “I’ve got to wait until this essential oils craze cools down a bit.”
Siemens specializes in tea tree and lavender oils, which are always a hit with the church ladies.
“But I’ve told everyone to stash their supply deep in the pantry behind the puffed wheat,” said Siemens. “You don’t want government officials rummaging around and finding your essential oils.”
Siemens says her frankincense supply is especially valuable.
“I wouldn’t’ be surprised if they send in the troops for that one,” said Siemens. “You should see what it’s done for my joint pain.”
The White House reported this afternoon that Mrs. Siemens had nothing to worry about and they were only going after countries that have nationalized their essential oils.