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Mennonite Woman Orders Every Liquid on the Menu

CALGARY, AB

Local woman Diane Schmidt, 66, of Calgary was at her neighbourhood Humpty’s on Sunday morning for what she thought was a simple cup of coffee but instead became the most impressive marathon of beverage consumption this side of the Rocky Mountains.

“Well, you know it’s pretty dry this time of year. You should see my skin,” said Schmidt, “So it didn’t take long and I had to add a glass of ice water to my brunch. Coffee wasn’t going to be enough.”

After a couple cups of coffee and three rounds of ice water, Diane flagged down the server for another order.

“Do you have any orange juice?” she asked. “How about grapefruit juice? No? Okay, I’ll stick with the orange then. I’ll have a large. The small is never enough.”

By the time Schmidt had consumed the orange juice it was getting time for lunch.

“Would you look at the time. It’s almost noon,” she said, snapping her fingers. “Hey, Melissa, could I get a Pepsi over here!”

It didn’t take long and Diane had a half-empty glass of nearly every beverage on the Humpty’s menu.

“I love my Sunday morning brunches,” said Diane. “Such diversity of liquid.”

Diane said she also ordered a half dozen eggs, one over-easy, one scrambled, one boiled, one sunny side up, and two poached “just to be on the safe side.”

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