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Mennonite Man Starts Innovative New Jazz Label ‘EMC Records’ Guaranteed to Have No Sax

GDANSK, POLAND

Local jazz enthusiast Manfred Engbrecht has just launched a brand new record label called “EMC Records”, with a mandate to produce innovative jazz recordings without any sax.

“We want to create jazz that even Mennonites can enjoy,” said Engbrecht, “which is why we’ve eliminated sax from all our lineups.”

Engbrecht says this saxless music will be a bit different than what some jazz fans are used to, but thinks he can attract a large audience of Anabaptists.

“We’re going to go through our catalogue and use AI to remove all the sax,” said Engbrecht, “which means those early Jan Gabarek albums will be total silence, but that’s okay. After all our motto has always been the ‘most beautiful sound next to silence.'”

Mennonites are already flocking to get their hands on these saxless jazz records.

“I really don’t need all the sax they put in jazz these days,” said Mennonite jazz fan Andreas Unger. “I think my wife will enjoy it a lot more too if I don’t have to lift the needle and skip past all the sax.”

Meanwhile, one of those progressive Mennonites in Amsterdam has set up a jazz label which will feature nothing but sax.

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