TORONTO, ON
The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-winning run in game six this weekend.
“I’m so sorry,” said Leamington church treasurer and avid baseball fan Mr. Plett. “My Susie packed me an ice cream pail full of cottage cheese vereniki and I guess one just slipped.”
Plett was sitting in the outfield when his vereniki, lathered in schmaunt fat, dropped from his fork and wedged itself into the outfield wall, causing umpires to delay the game and send everyone back to the base from whence they began.
“I’m not sure how he even got that thing into the building,” said head of Blue Jays security Brian Cladwell. “We don’t allow outside food or drink – especially not vereniki and schmaunt fat!”
As soon as the dumpling became wedged in the wall, Dodgers outfielder Justin Dean waved his arms around in a panic.
“I thought for sure he was asking for some farmer sausage to go with it,” said Mr. Plett, “so I threw him one of those, too, but that just got me kicked out of the stadium. The church back home is going to be mighty upset when they find out I spent the entire Sunday school budget for the year on a single World Series ticket.”
The infamous vereniki is estimated to go for $6 million in an upcoming Sotheby’s auction.