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Goldmine of Discarded Gospel Records Discovered at Local Thrift Store

STEINBACH, MB

Dozens of discarded vintage gospel records were discovered at a local Self-Help this week. The titles ranged from “Music of the Mennonite Church” by the Men’s Chorus at First Mennonite Church in Berne, Indiana to the epic concept album “Because He Lives” by the Goertzen Family and a rare first pressing of “O Be Joyful” by the Morden Bergthaler Men’s Choir.

“I can’t believe people are donating these albums! Hipsters would go crazy for this stuff,” said local record collector Stephen Wiens, tossing dozens of albums into his shopping cart. “Oh, my gosh. They’ve even got ‘I’m Gonna Sing’ by the Mennonite Hour Men!”

Wiens says that Mennonite gospel albums are really hot right now, with prices skyrocketing on eBay.

“I’ve seen these albums go for twenty, thirty or even forty cents online,” said Wiens. “And something really rare, like, say, CMBC’s masterpiece ‘Songs of the Abundant Life’ can start a bidding war!”

Wiens believes the resurgence of interest in old musty gospel albums has to do with the younger generation’s pursuit of anything “authentic.”

“They’re so sick and tired of all the new auto-tuned Mennonite gospel choirs,” said Wiens. “And does ‘In the Rifting Rock I’m Resting’ really need a rap verse?”

While Wiens and his vinyl mad friends snatched up all the vintage gospel they could get their hands on, five pristine copies of Led Zeppelin IV were left completely untouched.

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