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Edmonton Man Really Upset His Favourite Team Would Change their Name … or Logo, Colours, Jersey, Mascot, Location, Stadium, Turf, Ownership, Ticket Prices, Players, Coaching Staff, Management, Special Teams Strategy …

EDMONTON, AB

In what one Edmonton man describes as a “completely unprecedented move for a professional sports team”, the Edmonton football club has decided to change its nickname.

“In all my years I’ve never seen a professional sports team change their name, logo, colours, jersey, mascot, location, stadium, turf, ownership, ticket prices, beer prices, players, coaching staff, management, or even their offensive, defensive or special teams strategy,” said a furious Mr. Klassen. “This is highly irregular. Highly irregular indeed!”

The cantankerous Edmonton football fan says he’s never ever witnessed a single change in professional sports and this is the very first time anything has changed about his beloved local football squad.

“I’m sure looking forward to seeing what legendary Hall of Famer Jackie Parker is going to do on the gridiron this year,” said Klassen. “I sure hope he doesn’t try one of those new-fangled forward passes. I hate those. This is football not “throwball”!

Klassen said that the only time he’d support any kind of change to his football team is when they’re churning out new alternate jerseys just to make a buck.

(photo credit: Shawn McCready/CC)

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