WINNIPEG, MB
It seems US President Donald Trump has resorted to the most powerful weapon in his playbook -renaming bodies of water.
“Starting tomorrow I am ordering all school children to scribble out the name Lake Winnipeg and pencil in Lake Murica instead,” said Trump. “That Wab Kinew has said some nasty things about me. Just nasty.”
As the 12th largest freshwater lake in the world, Lake Winnipeg has become an increasingly important trading route now that the Strait of Hormuz is closed.
“Lake Winnipeg will be mine come hell or highwater,” said Trump. “And after I’m done with it, it might be a little of both.”
Unfortunately for Trump, school children across the USA struggled with the required alterations as they couldn’t locate a single Canadian province on the map.
“Plus with all the algae, I think everyone assumed Trump was already controlling Lake Winnipeg.”