CHICAGO, IL
After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores across the continent.
“I grew up with these things,” said Kempczinki. “Sure, I didn’t eat them with cottage cheese and schmaunt fat, but it’s close enough.”
To show off just how much he loved the product, Kempczinski took the tiniest of bites before proclaiming, “Oba, that is so good.”
Naturally, Mennonite Omas across the continent were mortified at the tepid reaction.
“Eat, eat, come on, there’s more,” said Mrs. Janzen. “There’s no need for leftovers. We have plenty. Just eat, eat, Jung.”
Mrs. Janzen’s feeling were very hurt by the fact that Chris only took a nibble.
“Plus he’s calling this product the Big Pierogi?” said Mrs. Janzen. “Everyone can tell a mile away that’s a vereniki not a pierogi.”
The Big Pierogi will be available in stores across the country with the option to have a side dish of farmer sausage or apple slices. Kids meals will include a plastic Dirk Willems figurine and a copy of the MB Herald.