STEINBACH, MB
Looking for a way to speed up transportation from the MCC store downtown to the Walmart out on the highway, Steinbach residents are now seriously considering a new citywide monorail system.
“It’ll stop at the Main Street EMC and Southland Church, too,” said monorail proponent Doug Falk. “Finally, we’ll be able to get from Coffee Culture to Chuck’s Roadhouse in under sixty seconds.”
The monorail is expected to cost upwards of $10 billion dollars, which, according to the city’s borrowing plan, will need to be paid off in just five years time.
“People are demanding public transit, so we’re going to deliver for them,” said city councillor Fred Broesky. “Hey, while we’re at it, we’re also going to get that Taco Bell up and running for once.”
Steinbach residents seemed happy with the new plan, although residents of the RM of Hanover were not so impressed.
“Ugh, those stingy Steinbachers will probably charge us to use it,” said one Hanover resident. “You know, what we’d really prefer is to use all the services of Steinbach without paying any of the taxes.”
It’s not yet known whether the $10 billion will cover the expected expansion out to Jantsied.