STEINBACH, MB
Area man Timothy Berg, 70, has been called before the elder board to “explain his actions” after word got out that he’s just been put on the waiting list for a hip replacement.
“I hear they might have to do his left one, too,” said Elder Krahn. “I don’t know if hips give out so easy. I’m guessing he might have been dancing on the sly.”
So far Berg has confessed to nothing, saying there are plenty of reasons he might need a new hip.
“It’s not all dancing,” said Berg. “Getting up and down to milk the cows will really do a number or your hips. Not to mention your knees.”
Still, the elder board is not convinced and has asked church members to search their phones to see if they have any footage of Berg doing the Macarena.
“Or the Boot Scootin’ Boogie,” said Krahn. “We’ll take anything at this point.”
Berg’s surgery is scheduled for some time in the year 2028, although by the he’ll long have already been excommunicated.