HOLLYWOOD, CA
After actor Timothee Chalamet stirred up controversy across the arts community this week for his dismissive comments about ballet and opera, boxing promoters have offered a $50 million prize to see Chalamet enter the ring and take on conductor Howard Dyck and tenor Ben Heppner.
“It’ll be a tag team event,” explained Dyck. “Chalamet can even pair up with Kevin O’Leary if he wants.”
Vegas oddsmakers have given 5:3 odds in Heppner and Dyck’s favour, though some are saying it could be even more lopsided than that.
“That Chalamet fellow is certainly not lasting through the entire Ring Cycle,” said Heppner. “I’m guessing he bows out fifteen minutes into Das Rheingold.”
The entire match will be broadcast live on Saturday Afternoon at the Opera, with play-by-play by Marion Newman. Reports indicate Chalamet had originally requested to settle this whole thing over a rousing game of table tennis.