COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA
School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.”
“We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany Jacobs, who pointed out several passages in the book she found particularly Canadian. “Just look at the author bio – says born in Ottawa. Wherever that is.”
The book has been challenged in the past, but this is first time its Canadian-ness has been put on trial.
“We’re also going after Anne of Green Gables, Life of Pi, and anything by Malcolm Gladwell,” said Jacobs. “If the author’s born north of the border, we don’t want our kids anywhere near it.”
Also on the chopping block are Robert Munch books and re-runs of King of Kensington.
“I’ve also vowed to keep my cheese curds a good six feet away from any gravy and fries,” said Jacobs. “If Canada becomes the 51st state like it should, however, we’ll reconsider the ban and just treat the books with the same suspicion we give to any author from California.”
The banning of Canadian books went along just fine until Jacobs found out she’d have to give up Heated Rivalry.