RIDING MOUNTAIN, MB
More than two thousand young Mennonite men showed up at Riding Mountain National Park this week ready to join the World War III Conscientious Objector camp.
“We haven’t had the chance to do alternative service here in Canada since the 1940s,” said World War III CO David Wiens. “I never thought it would happen, but here we go again.”
To be eligible to be a World War III objector, Wiens was forced to stand before a judge to prove he really believed in pacifism.
“The judge was a little skeptical when he heard how much time I spend playing Call of Duty,” said Wiens. “That and the fact I haven’t been in church in years.”
Wiens’s bolstered his case, however, by referring to the Lowe letter of 1874.
“The judge had never heard of it,” said Wiens, “but thankfully I got a copy from the archives and the matter was settled.”
The World War III COs will be tasked with fixing all the potholes in the TransCanada highway their ancestors built.