WASHINGTON, DC
President Trump issued a warning to pregnant woman this week – avoid knackzoat.
“It can only be bad. Not good,” said Trump. “Very bad. Let me see. How do you pronounce this? It’s called kay nack? What is this? Kay Nack Zoo At – is that close enough?”
The warning against roasted sunflower seeds sent shockwaves across the Mennontie community.
“What’s next? No schmauntfat and formavorscht,” said Mrs. Olga Sawatzky. “I suppose he doesn’t want us eating too far into the green part of the watermelon either.”
Knacking zoat while pregnant has long been thought to provide pregnant Mennonite women with a comforting distraction during labour.
“I guess I’ll just have to stick to Durch Blitz,” said Sawatzky. “Either that or horseshoes.”
Rumour has it there’s nothing too Trump’s warnings and the whole things is just a plot to keep all the zoat for himself.