ALTONA, MB
The local thrift store got a huge influx of margarine containers, old license plates, and Clorox bottles this week after local man, Dave Klassen, donated literally everything he owned.
“The Internet says the Rapture’s happening Tuesday,” said Klassen. “Might as well help out the MCC while I can.”
Klassen was concerned that if he didn’t donate this stuff now, his relatives might bring it over to the Salvation Army store or something.
“We can’t have that,” said Klassen. “I know my cousin Art’s kids are certain to be left behind, but I don’t trust them with all my stuff.”
The store also saw thousands of extra customers this afternoon.
“Gotta get my hands on those bargains while I can,” said Betty Reimer. “Won’t be able to do any more thrifting after the Rapture happens tomorrow.”
Klassen admits he doesn’t know the day or the hour, but is certain the good folks in Altona will be raptured first.
Meanwhile the thrift store has hired a bunch of Lutherans to man the store after all the Mennonites are all gone.
(photo credit: by get directly down/CC)