TABER, AB
The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week.
“We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. “I’m hoping this money will allow us to flood the rink with ice or at the very least Rogers Golden Syrup.”
Schmaunt fat is cheaper and more common than water in the Taber area, which is why it became such a versatile liquid.
“We were fuelling our Dodge Rams with it, too,” said Plett. “But now that’s all gonna change. Thanks, Kraft Hockeyville.”
Local residents are really looking forward to the increased recreational funding.
“That’s just more schmaunt fat for me,” said local hockey fan Earl Knelsen. “I’m hoping next year we can win Kraft Crokinoleville.”
The first game at the new rink will be this Saturday afternoon between fierce rivals, and neighbours, Taber Evangelical Church vs. Reinland Church. Members of the local Old Colony Church, who promise to remain neutral, will be reffing the match.
(photo credit: mark6mauno/CC)