SASKATOON, SK
More than a dozen teens at North Saskatoon Mennonite Church were caught hauling out their new Nintendo Switches this Sunday just as soon as Pastor Dave launched into his sermon on the eleventh chapter of Leviticus.
“I didn’t stand in that line for nothing,” said 13-year-old Alex Peters. “It’s a good thing these new Nintendos are portable.”
The Switch 2 has been particularly popular with Mennonite young people, since it’s small and can easily be hidden from view from Pastor Dave.
“I just turn down the volume and he’ll never know,” said Alex. “This new Mario Kart is much better than Pastor Dave’s verse-by-verse exegesis of the Levitical purity laws.”
The trouble arose when the offering plate came around and Mrs. Peters promptly tossed her son’s new Nintendo Switch right into the basket.
“Come on, Mom, that’s like 2-years allowance!” said Alex. “There’s no way I’m tithing my Nintendo Switch.”
When the ushers did their final count this Sunday, they found more 15 Nintendo Switch 2s and a couple of the old ones, too, from the Wiebe boys who are never up on the latest trends. The confiscated consoles will be donated to the local MCC store where they’ll be thrown in with the “Secular items” section next to the Bananarama LPs.