ALTONA, MB
Mrs. Martens was in a hurry this afternoon and didn’t have time to extract the necessary cream from her dairy cow Daisy. Instead, she made her schmaunt fat using the skim milk she had in the fridge.
“I try to get my Frank to go easy on the heavy cream. You know, for his coffee,” said Martens. “Otherwise I wouldn’t even have the stuff in the house.”
With only minutes to go before the frintschoft arrive, Mrs. Martens made the best of things with the skim milk.
“It was so bad that some of them said they’d prefer sour cream,” said Mrs. Martens. “That’s the last time I use the skim milk, let me tell you.”
Guests were also disappointed with the pizza pops she claimed were vereniki and the hot dog wieners she tied to pass off as farmer sausage.