MILAN, ITALY
Canadian curler Mark Kennedy has been accused of taking a few strategies from crokinole this week at the Olympics.
“The replay clearly shows he knipsed the stone after the hog line,” said curler commentator Jennifer Jones. “The rules clearly state you must release the rock from the handle without knipsing it.”
Kennedy, it appears, is a first finger flicker, which suggests he learned his knipsing Yantsied somewhere.
“All the middle finger flickers are from Ditsied,” said Jones. “They call him Mark Kennedy, but I think Mark Klippenstein is more like it.”
The curler, who will be going by the name of Mark Knisping Stein until the end of the Olympics, has defended his actions.
“I’m innocent,” he says. “I think my accusers may have just gotten up from meddachschlop or something. Maybe they are too much at faspa.”
The winner of this year’s curling competition will receive a pail of Roger’s Golden Syrup instead of the usual medal.