WINNIPEG, MB
A 300-foot long gash has appeared in the South Central Kildonan MB church baptismal tank this week, which has pastor Dave making accusations of vandalism.
“It was the GCers I’m sure,” said Pastor Dave. “Or maybe EMCers. They don’t do much immersion either.”
The gash is believed to have appeared during an afternoon faspa, which offered vandals a convenient distraction to go about their villainy.
“I’m impressed they were able to cut a 300-foot scar into a tank that was only 8 feet long,” said Mrs. Driedger. “But those GCers are capable of anything.”
The water in the tank has also turned a strange colour.
“But that turned out to be Mrs. Janzen making plumi moos in there,” said Pastor Dave. “The deacons are going to have a keep a closer watch on what goes on in that tank during the weekdays.”
Police are on the lookout for the box cutter that made the gash, although so far all they’ve been able to recover at the scene of the crime is a Voices Together hymnal and a CMU student ID card.