Trump Manages to Convince Mennonite Autoharp Player to Perform at Inauguration


After dozens of A-list musicians declined the opportunity to perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20, a tweet by the President-elect suggests that he may have finally found someone willing to play.

“I’m excited to say we’ve got Art Reimer signed on for the inauguration,” says the tweet. “His autoharping is tremendous.”

Sources say a Mennonite autoharpist was not the President’s first choice, but after being turned down by everyone from Bruce Springsteen and the Dixie Chicks to Bruno Mars and Beyonce, the President had little other choice.

“I once saw Mr. Reimer play at a quilt auction back in New Hamburg,” said Mr. Trump. “Let me tell you, he’s the Jimi Hendrix of the autoharp…and a Republican to boot.”

Trump also managed to get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and a half dozen Radio City Rockettes to perform.

“The combination of choir music, kicking legs and an elderly Mennonite man on the zither is going to be just tremendous,” said President-elect Trump. “Who needs Paul McCartney when you’ve got a 70-year-old man and an autoharp?”

Mr. Reimer, who’s been playing the autoharp since he was seven, says he’s honoured to perform for the President.

“This will be largest crowd I’ve played in front of since DVBS back in the summer of ’63,” said Reimer. “I don’t have much interest in politics, but it’s a paying gig. What Mennonite in their right mind would turn down $50?”

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