Mennonite Man Pays Even Less in Taxes than Donald Trump


According to tax returns that he had to reveal when he took on a position as lay minister at West Wichita EMB, local man  Mr. Wiens, 71, paid exactly seven dollars and thirty-five cents in taxes between 2016 and 2017. According to church records, Mr. Wiens is the most frugal man in the congregation, a feat which had him voted unanimously into a church leadership position.

“And you thought President Trump didn’t pay his taxes!” scoffed Mr. Wiens. “Let me tell, you can’t out-frugal a Mennonite!”

Mr. Wiens attributes his low tax bill to a really good accountant and the fact he’s received his income in bushels of corn for decades.

“On paper I’m a pauper,” said Mr. Wiens. “It really helps to get paid in ears of corn it’s time to file your taxes or tip your waitress.”

While Mr. Wiens may have defeated the President for low taxes, he still has one area of financial concern.

“I thought I was all free and clear, until I got a letter from the church in the mail,” said Mr. Wiens. “Apparently I owe eighty grand in unpaid tithes. And, for some reason, they’re not accepting corn as payment!

Little Abe Confuses Smoke Shack for Outhouse
Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting